Putting rights issues through the looking glass. Not seeking answers, just some food for thought to see whether things could be any different!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Live ins: Love + Economics

Not going into the moral question of whether live in relationships are good or bad..that has been discussed, way too often and I think its better to realize that it is a matter of free individual choice. Most prefer mariages, some not so much! As far as I am concerned, I see the many advantages of live-ins but when it comes to me, I might not be able to go for it, as:

a) I am guessing, my mother is going to temporarily disown me and I cannot handle that! She is, for all that its worth, my strongest support system! This is going to affect my future relationship with her and may I bet, that there is a chance that it won't be the same again.

b) Most importantly, I believe in marriage. I donot think it's sanctum sanctora or an institution but I do not like it when people say that what binds a married couple together is a piece of paper and thus,can be avoided. I say, if it is just a piece of paper, then why is it such a big deal! If a piece of paper gives a relationship social acceptance and gives a child born out this relationship, legitimacy and social respect, then what is wrong in that! I find it slightly warped when live in couples get married just when they want to have a child or are expecting one! I am sure marriage is not just a piece of paper after all! Anyway, on the whole, its not that big a deal, really! I know when people argue that mariages are difficult to get out of, so much legal hassle etc but frankly speaking, is it any easier to walk out of a live in either? Both are human relationships and are equally complex. Yes, I agree that one is saved of the legal delays in case of a live in but how long do legal divorces by mutual consent take these days?

For many urban dating couples, who barely get to spend time with each other during the week, given their hectic work schedules and can only meet on weekends, or may be not at all for weeks together, live ins are becoming increasingly popular living arrangements. Live in relationships were being discussed in a weekend show on Times Now channel, where one couple raised the issue of the pure economic vilability of live ins. In expensive cities like Delhi or Mumbai, such couples achieve the dual objective of spending time together and saving lots of money, as all living costs are shared.

In fact, the new law against domestic violence also recognises live in relationships, as the law protects not only a wife but also a woman in a live in relationship. India is gradually waking up to the reality of live in relationships, after all. In fact, they make movies on that subject these days..SALAAM NAMASTE (a movie that is more famous for eggjactly and Preity Zinta's hot bod than anything else!)